This is Your Life!

Express Yourself!

OK, so what's the point of all these (yes, I'm biased!) adorable pictures of my baby girl Paili? It's simple - look at her face! No matter what she's feeling, it shows on her chubby-cheeked little face in all it's glory. Kids aren't limited by the reservations about expressing themselves like adults are. They haven't learned to rein in emotion or edit their reactions. Simply put - they haven't learned to care! They are truly "real". Only when they receive reactions from other people do they realize that, sometimes, being reserved in their own reactions is prudent and wise. Well, I say - Express Yourself! I'm learning to take a cue from Paili and let go a little! After all, if your expressions and reactions are always reined in, no one truly knows how you feel. You can't fully express excitement if you're afraid of looking silly. You can't fully express sadness and expect support from anyone if no one knows. You can't fully express anything if you're reserved about it! Now, don't get me wrong - next time you're angry, please don't start throwing things and screaming like a banshee! Some restraint is definitely wise, but pay attention to your reactions. Notice what your face does, what your body does, and what you express verbally about the situation or feeling. You will be so surprised when you realize what you've been holding in - so express it! Life is better on this side... :)

Then A Miracle Occurs...

Funny? Yes! Relevant? Yes!
The reason I'm posting this comic is this - Everyone seems to want the gold at the end of the rainbow without doing all the legwork first. Reaching your goals (in math or otherwise!) requires doing ALL of the necessary steps. Sorry - there's no teleportation device to take you from now to your dreams in the future! This is a reminder (mostly to myself!) that all the planning, scheming, and dreaming in the world is not going to bring my goals any closer in the long run. Action is the only thing that produces results! Make it a great day!

Do you have Telephobia?

Happy Friday, everyone! The week flew by! For this Friday's post, I'd like to touch on a pretty relevant (to me) topic - stranger anxiety. Or, more specifically, telephobia - speaking on the phone to strangers. Now, I'm not terrified, but it would be a lie to say I still don't get butterflies in my belly every time I pick up the phone to call a business contact or new prospect. This is a pretty common issue, believe it or not. But if you have a job or business that requires you to make good use of your phone plan (as I do!), it might be a good idea to see what you can do to eliminate those butterflies. (Or at least reduce 'em!) I researched some ideas that mental health professionals have on overcoming social anxiety-induced telephobia, and these were the top answers -
1. First and foremost - physically relax. If your body is tense, your mind will be too. Sit somewhere comfy and breathe deeply.
2. Now, think about the source of your anxiety and invalidate it. For example, if you are scared to call the person because you are afraid they will shut you down, or simply not be interested in what you have to say, remind yourself of the big picture. Will this specific moment really be that important in the long run? Will you (or they) even remember this in a few weeks? If you are emotionally invested, this obviously becomes a harder task to follow through with. But it becomes all the more important, as well.
3. Remind yourself of the reason you are calling this person in the first place. Let's face it, if you have an honest-to-goodness fear of the phone and you are still calling this person, it must be for a very good reason. Will it help you financially or emotionally? Find your reason and believe in it - lean on it.
4. It may help to be prepared if you have something specific to emote to the person you are calling. Have notes handy. Run through them in your mind before the call if you are nervous. If you believe you are prepared mentally, it will be a lot easier to pick up that phone.
5. Lastly, as simple as this sounds (and the opposite of #4), Just Do It! Just pick up the phone, dial the number, and don't think past it. Tasks like this become much simpler if you treat it as a regular, necessary occurrence and don't build it up in your mind to something it isn't. Everything can be simplified.

I love that - Everything Can Be Simplified. Think about it - It's true...
Have a great weekend everybody!

This is a great little video... :)

Resolution - Being Thankful...

What are you thankful for? And run-of-the-mill Thanksgiving Dinner answers don't count! Really search inside yourself and come up with some answers. Think of the things in your life that make it possible to live like you are. Think of the people in your life who support you unconditionally. Think of the blessings that you may take for granted every day. I believe in gratitude. Always be thankful - for everything! Good and bad, it all makes you who you are. Without the trials, there would be no good times. If you never struggle, you can't see the rainbow at the end of the storm. In 2011, I have made a resolution to always find the good in any situation and be honestly thankful for it! This are the top three I am thankful for today ~
~ My husband. He works from 5 to 5 every weekday and most Saturdays. Today is Sunday, and he was called in to work. I am thankful that he has the resolve, the determination, and the maturity to know what to do in these situations. Although it would be nice to spend a lazy Sunday together, he recognizes that all this really means is an easier time paying the bills this week! He is a great example of strength and follow-through for me. And of course, I am thankful for the love that he has for me - absolutely unconditionally.
~ My baby girl. No one can prepare you for the amount of emotion that comes with having a child! I've experienced extreme highs and lows emotion-wise with her. Nothing seems as important as it once was - you live for the life of that child, and you will never know a stronger love.
~ My ability to work from home. Anybody who doesn't have to leave their babies at daycare understands this one! I am so happy I found a legitimate way to do this with Internet CEO Moms! Nothing can make up for missing milestones and special moments in your child's life, and now I don't have to!
     So, what are your top 3?

The Great TV Debate!

Hi guys! You know, I was talking to a fellow work-at-home-mom today, and we somehow ended up on the topic of TV. Everybody has an opinion on it. Some advocate certain networks for children, stating that they are, in fact, a valuable resource for them education and entertainment-wise. On the other hand, some hardcore moms are adamantly opposed to TV in any form. There are so may aspects to this argument - commercials, content, education value, etc. So what are we supposed to think? Should we take the advice of others or should we, as rulers of our own remotes (and for some, that's NOT an understatement! :), spend some time researching the topic on our own and come to our own conclusions? Well, that's what I did.
The first step in figuring out what is going to be the most beneficial route for your family is this - map out exactly how the television currently affects your life. That includes, of course, TV shows you watch, but there are plenty of other ways the TV indirectly affects your family.  Do the commercials influence you? Do you tend to stay up too late because you just can't miss the end of the show (and maybe the next one, too)?  Do you leave the TV on when you're not really watching it? I admit - I am incredibly guilty on this one! The TV is almost constantly on in our home. Whether it's simply for background noise while I am busy with different tasks, or I leave it on for Paili to watch if she wants to take a break from the toys or books (which isn't often), it's on mostly with no one really watching it. So my question is - is this really as horrible as everyone says it is?
When I was very young, we had cable service. One day, out of the blue (or at least thats the way it seemed to us kids), my dad cancelled it. His reasons were very legitimate to him, though. First and foremost, he thought that the attitudes of the children on TV were becoming increasingly bratty and he didn't want his children emulating them. Secondly, (and he had a definite point here!) it just reminded us kids what the newest and coolest stuff was that we didn't have! Another reason was cost - he reasoned we had enough pre-approved VHS tapes to last us our entire lives (which we did!), and why pay for the same type of entertainment? The last reason, and definitely the most important to him, was the general laziness the "boob tube" produced in our home. We were supposed to be kids, running around outside, building forts and making mud pies! Needless to say, that was the end of TV in our house, and for the most part it died a quick and painless death. Oh sure, for a while we missed our favorite shows and would occasionally complain, but there were always other things to fill our time with. I am, in retrospect, grateful to my father for (literally) pulling the plug on our TV habit.
Now, a whole new question emerges. Yes, the TV is on A LOT in my house. But, as I explained, it was mostly nonexistent in my childhood. Does that mean I am more pre-programmed to be attracted to TV as an adult or less likely? My daughter Paili is almost two, and to be honest, she's not that into TV. She will pay attention only in certain instances, like when she sees Elmo or somebody is doing some loud, obnoxious singing and dancing, and then she'll want to get in on the action. What I am wondering about is, because she sees the TV as a regular, ordinary thing, will it hold less appeal for the rest of her life? And, on the other side, perhaps because I experienced TV as a child and then felt deprived when it was taken away, the television has always garnered my undivided attention and respect. So....what is better? To expose your child to TV,  make it seem commonplace, and hope that they will always see it that way? Or limit or completely ban the television from your home, create a longing to watch this forbidden, awesome thing called TV akin to the longing children have for Christmas, and hope that as soon as they are out of the house they don't crave it like a smoker who has quit craves a cigarette when she's around only her smoker friends? The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours of television a day for children over two, and for no more than 20 minutes at a time. I don't know a single mom who makes her child stop watching a show two-thirds of the way through! Are those moms even existent? I'm certainly not trying to debunk or put down advice from such a trusted source. I am simply curious as to how many moms actually  follow their advice. Seriously now, every single time you turn on the TV? My guess is that I, and other moms like me, are not as alone as we think we may be. Moms are reluctant to share this information with others because, as always, they are scared of being labeled as a "bad mom". Well - here's my closing thought on The Great TV Debate. You have to do what works best for your family. Now, use your common sense about it! If you see an obvious effect the television is having on your family, like your six-year old who can't stop watching Spongebob long enough to come eat dinner, some restrictions might be in order! Every once in a while, gauge the situation again and adjust accordingly if needed. Only you know your personal answer to this debate - leave it on or turn it off - c'est la vie!